By Luke Kusick “We must do away with all newspapers. A revolution cannot be accomplished with freedom of the press”~Che Guevara. The radical group Students for Change has the same mentality. Similar to Che, they have a revolution of their own that they want accomplished and that revolution is one in which no one anywhere is offended. They want a world where contradictory opinions, scary thoughts, micro-aggressions and anything that some arbitrary decider deems…
Support Deregulation Without Being a Corporate Whore
By David Keptsi In modern times it seems the majority of people will automatically label those that support deregulation as supporters of corporate opportunism. But Id rather present them with my reality, the one in which pro-libertarian deregulatory solutions can remedy the corporate favoring policies present within the current law code. My first example comes from an issue most college students who’ve taken a humanities class would recognize, the prison industrial complex. In the current…
$47,000 Alphabet Soup
By Yesac Roanoke For $2.59, you can buy Campbell’s Healthy Chicken Alphabet Soup. At 18,000 times that cost, you can get Binghamton’s varietal, with half the letters. A, W/O/C/J, F, G, H, L, M, B/Y/S, P, N. As much as they enjoy arranging bwomhclapghjysn in their educational soup bowls, students must understand the true costs of these letters. Four years at Binghamton University cost $200,000. I understand the checks we write total to about $20,000 a…
Why We Need A More Militarized Thought Police
By Luke Kusick Ever since Executive Order 7248 passed at the beginning of President Obama’s third term, Americans have become accustomed to Thought Police monitoring all of us. Secret abductions, trials where one is guilty until proven innocent and dangerous thoughts such as tax cuts, freedom of speech and the right to bare arms resulting in the execution of people have skyrocketed. In this new glorious Utopia, we have seen that the Thought Police’s tactics…
What You Missed
Chief Justice John Roberts and other Supreme Court Justices will be ruling shortly on the legitimacy of President Barack Obama’s historic third election. While some believe that the court will rule in favor of the President, others believe he will be forced to resign leaving Vice President Knowles-Carter as the first female President of the United States of America. Dissent is at an all time low in America, after President Obama signed Executive Order…
Presswatch
In favor of grade equality Pipe Dream Editorial This University has done so much to address inequality in recent years. We’ve handled inequality of skin tone and melanin, inequality of genitalia, and now it’s time to deal with inequality of intelligence and work ethic. Wow, just wow. I always knew you were pretty crazy Pipe Dream, but this is a little much. Anyway, go on… It’s not fair that certain students get better grades just…
Editorial
Dearest Readers, I’m glad that you’ve decided to pick up a copy of our paper of your own free will and not because the campus freedom police have made it mandatory reading. Ever since the firing squads and trial by combat were implemented in lieu of the student disciplinary committee, I’ve felt safer knowing only university sanctioned opinions (like those in this paper) can be heard. Now to address the elephant in the room: as…
Why Peace in Israel is Impossible Today
By Dan Milyavsky Israel held parliamentary elections on March 17, and Netanyahu’s conservative Likud Party won big. Polling before the election was predicting either a win for the Zionist Union, which was a center left coalition, or a tie between Likud and the Zionist Union. Netanyahu seems to have gotten nervous, and before the elections, he made two significant controversial statements on the eve of the election. First, he said that there will be no two…
Binghamton: an Ivy at Last
It’s been several months now since Binghamton has replaced Cornell as a member of the prestigious Ivy League and things have been just peachy. Cornell, which was kicked out of the Ivy League after the well known escaped laboratory chimpanzee incident (the horrific details which I won’t delve into lest the all-seeing thought police knock down my door) isnt doing too well though.Since our glorious leader Barack Obama signed the executive order to make college…
March Madness!
This year the Binghamton Bearcats snuck into the NCAA tournament for the first time since the classic basketball scandal of 2009-2010, when academic and character integrity of players was compromised in order to become a more competitive Division 1 team. Of course, with this year’s tournament being the first since the new NCAA policy regarding players, this truly was set to be March Madness. As much as I wanted to pick my beloved Bearcats as…
2016 Presidential Election Update
By Sean Glendon Another four years of Barack Hussein Obama. Jesus fucking Christ. How did we get here? What happened to the 22nd Amendment and the sanctity of the Constitution? I guess it comes down to some ridiculous judicial interpretation and an apathetic and clueless populous. Let’s recap. Republican nominee Rand Paul easily made his way past the rest of the Republican field to gain the nomination. The right quickly decided they were done with…
Congressman Stenger and the Fall of Students for Change
By Sean Glendon After establishing himself as a results-oriented leader with the ability to create positive change during his tenure at Binghamton University, Harvey Stenger decided to set his sights on a stage where he could create an even larger difference: the United States Congress. While the value of his Cornell degree may have decreased with the annulment of the school’s Ivy League status, the honorary degree that he was granted by Binghamton University after…
SA Endorsements
“I got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re gonna hear about it!” – Frank Costanza, on Seinfeld This is not how we feel about the current slate of candidates running, who haven’t really had a chance to screw up yet, but rather about the SA as a whole, and the changes that have been made. Below you will find our endorsements for this year’s elections, but more importantly, first we will…
Press Watch
Editor’s Note: This is where we expose the mediocrity of other publications. Quotes from the article are in quotes, and our comments are in bold. Prospect Editorial -Prospect “…We are part of the same community and act in togetherness. Yes, my worldview is very idealistic, some might say naive.” I’d actually call it silly and immature, but different strokes for different folks! I’m not exactly sure what “acting in togetherness” even consists of, but that just…
What You Missed
What You Missed For no good fucking reason, Obama announced several days ago that fourth graders and their families will have free admission to all national parks for 2016. Why not third graders? Why not fifth graders? Who knows? Hope and change! Yes we can! First black president! Someone has been slipping copies of the Worker’s Vanguard, a commie newspaper which ironically, unlike our free issues, costs 50 cents. Headlines include: “Picket Lines Mean Don’t…