By Brendan Casey
The family fun game of dice rolling, property buying, and intense negotiations, almost always ending in a board being flipped, has been taken over and ruined, all in the name of progression. Who would want to ruin the classic American board game you might ask? The pink hat wearing, Beto O’rourke supporting, social justice warrior feminists of course.
Hasbro, the creator of Monopoly, rolled out this women empowerment version of Monopoly. Now, for the most part, the rules are the same. You can still show no mercy to your friends when they land on your hotel for the 3rd time in a row, but there are a few tweaks.
Women will collect 240 Monopoly bucks when they pass “go,” while male players will collect the usual 200. This woke new rule is supposed to be representative of the real world gender pay gap.
The 20% increase in money while passing “go” is sure to empower women around the world. Since women are correctly compensated according to 2019 SJW criteria, men will surely never win a game of Ms.Monopoly. Even greater, men will learn an invaluable lesson about closing the pay gap and empowering women.
I think Hasboro is really onto something. There’s an untapped population of woke millenials that are itching to spend their parents’ money on board games all in the name of progression. I look forward to other board game manufacturers getting on board and updating their rules to 2019 social warrior criteria.