By Our Staff
With the fall semester coming to a close, and the academic year just about half-way over, it’s time to look back on how things have gone this semester, and grade them accordingly. More specifically, we’re going to take a look at the performance of the various publications that exist here at Binghamton University.
Pipe Dream
Pipe Dream is a constant reminder that Binghamton doesn’t offer a journalism degree because their issues consistently show a lack of quality that would never be accepted at any real publication. The only larger waste of paper on this campus is when my roommate takes a two-hour-long shit. If I had the option between reading Pipe Dream and watching paint dry, I’d choose the latter. I have never seen a real human being read this paper voluntarily. The only thing that could get anyone talking about Pipe Dream is when they print embarrassing opinion articles (see: Campus PressWatch.) Isn’t it wild that the only paper that has received any controversy this semester is the boring one? Pipe Dream also loses points for not responding to our fire diss track. Grade: D-
The BUTT
This year, the Bing BUTT formally changed their name to “The BUTT” because the “B” in BUTT stands for Binghamton, thus making the word “Bing” redundant. What the staff writers of The BUTT failed to realize is that that’s the joke. The fact that the campus’ satirical publication could not recognize the joke in their own name is a testament to just how unfunny they have become. What’s worse is that the articles they publish are almost always marred by grammatical errors. So far this semester, The BUTT has not published any physical issues but has operated entirely online. In the end, a satirical publication on campus is a great idea, but unfortunately the idea has not been executed well. For this reason, we had to give The BUTT ‘the D.” Grade: D
Binghamton Law Quarterly
Binghamton Law Quarterly, despite their name, only prints about two issues every year. The actual content could have been better if it didn’t read like a bunch of undergraduates trying to write half-assed articles for extra credit. The publication itself is only noteworthy for being the most sterile paper on campus. The overall tone of the paper can only be described as self-congratulatory. Still, the citations are accurate and their sources are legitimate and properly formatted so we’ll give them a passing grade. Grade: C
Free Press
Free Press is an arts magazine with some heavy high school lit mag vibes. The admittedly great graphic design work comes at the price of their paper having so much ink that you can’t help but feel like a squid while reading it. They’ve only released one issue this semester which is noticeably less than they produced last year. They also lose points for not updating their website in two years. Grade: C+
Asian Outlook
Yet another publication that has only released one issue this year. Asian Outlook is a magazine run by the Asian Student Union of Binghamton University. Each of the articles are well written and well edited and the layout and design are also impressive. Unfortunately, we had to take off points because one of their pages contains a drawing of exposed breasts right before No Nut November. Grade: B
Wait! Stop the presses! They published a second issue the day before we sent this issue to be printed. Good work Asian Outlook. Updated Grade: B+
Ellipsis
If it wasn’t for the contact we’ve had with them regarding our old office, I wouldn’t have had any clue that Ellipsis was still around. As of the release date of this issue, they still have not published anything this semester. We were moved from UUWB05 and our half of that space was given to Ellipsis. They have done nothing with it, and the two publications in that large, convenient office have produced one issue combined. Meanwhile, we’re over here in a modified dorm room pumping out our fifth issue of the semester. Great job Space Allocation Committee. Y’all really killed it with that one. Ellipsis actually had significant contribution from Binghamton Review’s staff last year. We shared an e-board member, and former Managing Editor Matthew Rosen and Staff Writer Jordan Jardine each wrote multiple pieces for them. In fact, if you do a Google search for “Ellipsis Binghamton,” Matthew Rosen is one of the first names to appear. Is it a coincidence that their paper fell apart the year after their Binghamton Review contributors graduated? It’s a shame, because some of what they published in the past was quality content. As they have not published anything for us to evaluate, Ellipsis receives an F by default. They also (accidentally?) stole Tommy’s sweatshirt and gave it away at some kind of clothing swap event, so they lose points for that too. Grade: F
Binghamton Review
Is there really any doubt about the grade earned by Last Refuge of Scholars? This year has been one of the best years for us in recent memory in terms of campus readership; our paper’s always gone, the people seem to need it. We’ll keep hammering this point as well; we ourselves have put out more issues than all other non-Pipe Dream publications thus far this semester combined (but Pipe Dream, a word of advice: quantity does not equal quality). Hate all you want, but the other papers need to step up their game. Involvement in the Review is another high for recent memory. Eight years ago, the Review had a staff of four people; now, we’ve struggled to allocate space to everyone that wants to write. Production used to be one guy in the dark basement of the Union putting the team on his back and the issue together; now, our dorm room office actually feels like a dorm room hangout on production night. Our staff is happy to contribute and our readers love what we do. If pluses can be added to an A+, it only goes up from here. Grade: A+