By Patrick McAuliffe Pornography is pervasive in our world, both that which is free and that which one pays to consume. As access to porn has increased, so too has the tolerance and acceptance of sex work. Whether you believe it is morally good or bad depends on your intuitions and education. Those that support sex work champion its benefits, such as a steady income for the sex worker (usually women), the destigmatizing of nudity…
Conservatism Won’t Save Anyone From the Coronavirus
By Bryn Lauer Political parties define themselves with blanket statements. For Democrats, these statements are often paired with increased government, whereas Republicans will not let you leave a conversation without having the government sworn away as one of society’s most imminent threats. It pains me to see both parties try to apply their political philosophies over a wide array of subjects, expecting an outcome that holds true to their idealized worlds. There is a disconnect…
WHO Let the Virus Out?
By Harold Rook As I’m sure we are all aware of by now, the novel coronavirus (SARS-CoV-2/COVID-19/Chinese Virus/CCP Virus/whatever you’d like to call it) has grinded the nation to a halt. Outside of making venturing outdoors feel like you are in a vacant post-apocalyptic dystopia ala Mad Max, the officially declared pandemic has almost the entire population in quarantine, with new public guidelines such as facemasks and social distancing becoming the norm. The effects of…
Bing Review
By Will Anderson In 2009 (the year of our lord) Microsoft rebranded their seminal search engine, Window Live Search, as Bing. David Webster, the marketing strategist at Microsoft, originally proposed the name “Bang” for the search engine, but it was rejected by Microsoft because “Bang” could not be used as a verb for describing the use of a search engine, similar to how people would say “just Google it.” Many were dissatisfied by the idea…
2020 Sucks (But at Least the Music is Good)
By Dillon O’Toole 2020 has not been a very good year so far. I don’t think I need to elaborate on why that is. That being said, one of the positives of this year has been the music. As a fan of most genres within rock and metal, as well as a general interest in various other genres, 2020 has seen the release of a lot of great music, and there is even more on…
The Nature Preserve Stands in the Way of…
By Matt Gagliano Binghamton University has had a crazy year. With everything that has happened during these last two semesters, things on campus just seem to be getting worse and worse. Lucky for you, I’m here to discuss a surefire way to solve the biggest problem facing Binghamton University today. What is that problem you ask? No, it’s not the rising tensions between political organizations on campus. No, it’s not the recent closing of the…
100 Things to Do While in Self-Quarantine
By Our Staff Post communist propaganda on Tumblr Catch up on reading Marx Simp your favorite e-girl Complain about Donald Trump on Twitter Pretend to pay attention to your professor’s Zoom lectures Cry Sleep on your mountain of hoarded hand sanitizer Stan Alexandria-Ocasio Cortez Finish writing your intersectional LGBTQAAIP2+ Five Nights at Freddy’s fan fiction Nothing Something Watch CNN Screech about how the world is ending Use Binghamton Review as toilet paper, since you can’t…
The Myth of Economics
By Pyotr Kropotkin I am the best person I know. I vote Democrat. I make anti-capitalist memes and post them to my private Blogspot account. I upvote socialist posts on Reddit dot com. I’ve even donated some of my dad’s money to the Chapo Trap House podcast. Therefore, I have earned every minute of self-indulgent moral superiority that I have felt. But alas, despite the constant reminders I’ve graciously given to all of my fellow…
COVID-19: Why We Need More Authoritarianism
By Comrade Kevin COVID-19, also referred to as the novel coronavirus, has severely wrecked political, economic, and social life across the United States over the past three or so weeks. Businesses across the country have shut their doors, sports leagues have suspended play, and, as of press time, the Dow Jones Industrial Average has lost about a third of its points.. Many feel that the next few months will be bleak, and with good reason,…
The Lizard People of Binghamton
By Jonah Alexander Hello readers of Binghamton REEEEEEEEE. I am Jonah Alexander, professional journalist at The Culture War Today. After a long day of taking male vitality pills, collecting rainwater, purifying the air from chemtrails, and building a doomsday bunker for the inevitable deep state coup, I have made a shocking discovery—the lizard people have invaded Binghamton University. Now you may think to yourself, “Lizard people? What’s next, is he going to try to tell…
Right Wing Bad
By Comrade Kevin If there is one thing I took away from my semester and a half on campus at Binghamton University it’s just how hateful, racist, and horrible the political right is. I was, regretfully, a conservative in High School, and admired the likes of Ben Shapiro, Donald Trump, and even Alex Jones. Thankfully, since coming to Binghamton, I have instead come to adore some of the most accomplished people in the United States:…
STOP BEING SO MEAN TO US!
By Alleged Pipe Dream Editor It has come to our attention that Binghamton Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee is allowing us to have a platform so we can address an issue that everyone is thinking about: those rude, cool, kids at THE Binghamton Review! Here is our chance to CLAP BACK! Let us start by saying that YOU GUYS ARE BIG DUMB POOPOO HEADS! Why is it that you guys have to constantly take our op-eds and rebut our…
New Clause Found in Constitution
By Tommy Gagliano On March 15th, 2020, historian Richard Head made a shocking discovery that will change the course of American politics forever. While analyzing the original draft of the Constitution to find evidence to support his position that government-mandated gamer girl GFs are constitutional, Mr. Head instead found a hidden clause, never before seen by anyone but the Framers themselves. The secret clause is located at the end of the document, after Article VI,…
Losing Your Headphones
By Harold Rook Hello, comrades! After reading a LOT of Krompkin and Marx, watching popular BreadTube channels, and eating some weird paint chips that fell from the ceiling of a condemned building near my house, I have decided to become a part of Antifa. After mingling with fellow leftist revolutionaries in a Starbucks and determining what flavor I should make my soy latte, we put on our black clothes and took to the streets, protesting…
Free of Charge: Apply for a VictimCard™ Today!
By Mirder O. Crows Why hello there! Tell me: are you sick of the typical uninspired brick-for-brack quote pertaining to the value of individualism? Do you feel victimized on a daily basis based on what you perceive as “microaggressions”? Do you need to subvert logical arguments and criticism from opponents in order to emphasize your subjective experience, shutting down any form of debate? Well look no further! I, Mirder O. Crows, come here to tell…