By nitrodude359 Wednesday 9/14/22 Number 10: Flake (Untitled 1995 Demo Tape) Very heavy song (played in drop B)! Simple but great riffs. This song has commonly been confused for Toast, which is the outro to PIG (the predecessor to Mr. Jack, on the 1995 Demo), so it is known as both Toast or Flake on Youtube. You know you’re listening to Flake when the chorus is “You flake, you flake, you motherfucking flake!” Number 9:…
Monarchies: Outdated or Still Relevant?
By Dillon O’Toole The Queen is dead. Yes, if you somehow haven’t heard the news, Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom died on September 8th, 2022 at the age of 96. Well, saying she was the Queen of the United Kingdom is actually excluding quite a bit. You see, Queen Elizabeth II was actually Queen of 15 countries at the time of her death. In order of decreasing population, these countries included: the United…
Your Professors Aren’t Supposed to Educate You
By Siddharth Gundapaneni Students are increasingly scrutinizing their academic institutions, often saying that their college professors fail to teach the subject adequately. When asking a college graduate about their knowledge of a subject they took a class in, it’s typically below what one would expect of someone with such a degree. As a justification, students (myself included) often say that professors only “teach to the test,” meaning that professors don’t try to teach a subject…
Submissive Indiana Jones: could this top archeologist ‘bottom?’
By Madeline Perez Let’s get to the point. Indiana Jones makes me feel things. WAIT –HOLD ON–DON’T GO. I DIDN’T FINISH. Indiana Jones makes me feel things about familiar 80s tropes and their impact. More specifically, common romantic tropes. In clearer detail, romantic tropes where domineering men cross a few boundaries because their stubborn, perky love interests won’t stop playing coy and saying “no”. NOW WAIT JUST A SECOND. Hear me out. I SWEAR I’m…
Leftist meme alert 2: return of the meme
By Madeline Perez Is the sequel always better than the original? Well, this is part two, babycakes, so even if you’re new here I’d strap in—it’s about to be a wild ride. And by wild ride, I mean depressing and informative. When we last left off, I was talking about how conservatives utilize women as convenient victims when arguing against the rights of trans people. More broadly, I established how right-wing figureheads have been using…
Did Someone Say, “Birthmarks”? A Reflection on Gorbachev
Julius Apostata Yo, I’m the host with the most Glasnost, a******s made a mess and the war got cold, shook hands with both Ronalds, Reagan and McDonalds, no doubt! If your name ends with “in”, it’s time to get out! *Ahem*, excuse me, I wasn’t supposed to start that way. I had a better introduction to this piece than some abrupt sing-along to one of the most well-known mentions of former leader of the Soviet…
Pure Evil
By Arthur O’Sullivan “Those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.” -C.S. Lewis, God in the Dock The morbid power of evil is its ability to disguise itself as good, and seduce the well-meaning. Whether in personal failing or collective moral sickness, few consider their works to be malevolent in themselves. And often evil, in one’s own heart as…
Biden’s Unserious Speech
By Arthur O’Sullivan Our forty-sixth President has a new item on the list of “existential threats to Democracy,” the MAGA Republican. The “unity” President inaugurated the ninth month with a speech “on the Continued Battle for the Soul of the Nation.” Awash in the revolutionary colors of red and black, and flanked by two marines, he decried the ostensible violence and extremism which characterizes the MAGA Republican. Though circumspect in assuring his listener that he…
Marijuana Inflation at Binghamton University
By Siddharth Gundapenini In the United States, inflation accounting serves an ever more important role. The Bureau of Labor Statistics, Bureau of Economic Analysis, and numerous private firms all calculate different measures of inflation, all with the same general purpose of allowing macroeconomic researchers to understand how much prices are rising, what specific goods/services are gaining popularity, and where these changes are taking place. Unfortunately, this analysis remains confined to goods and services sold legally.…
Accounts from a Gen Z Male in 2028 – Part I
By Anonymous The year is 2028. The Sixth Coalition War for Ukraine has begun. The threat of nuclear annihilation has been nullified by the New Strategic Defense Initiative (a.k.a. the “Star Wars sequels”). A network of satellites detect and destroy any ICBM five seconds after launch, allowing NATO and League of Nations II forces to intervene. A company of American forces now guard the Ukraine-Russia-Jeb! border from their bunker. A recent conscript recounts his last…
LEFTIST MEME ALERT
PART 1 By Madeline Perez “Women and children are being victimized and THE LEFT refuses to talk about it. Just stating the factual/logical arguments will be enough to have me canceled and taken away by the THOUGHT POLICE since we now live in an Orwellian nightmare where things like “freedom” and “moral values” are illegal. You see, I am not biased in any way, shape, or form against the queers, immigrants, or minority hoards-…
The Silliest of Seasons
By Dillon O’Toole After reading the title of this article, you may find yourself contemplating what exactly is the silliest season of the year. You most likely aren’t thinking winter, as winter is too bleak of a season to contain any sort of humor. Maybe your brain thought of summer, as it’s typically seen by many as the season of joy and fun activities due to its associated sunny weather. Or, perhaps, you thought of…
The (Punch)Line
By Joe Badalamenti If you’re a student, or just recently graduated without a job lined up, summertime can be very boring. (That is if you don’t have any classes, work, or anything better to do.) During these times, one of my favorite pastimes is to surf the internet for anything interesting. One of the things I found was so absurd that I just couldn’t ignore it. As college students, I’m sure you’ve heard of breaking…
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
By Julius Apostata The dawn of political parties in the United States was a crisis in the making; in his farewell address, George Washington spent much of his time warning against the formation of these parties, arguing that they are a danger to the country as a whole and potentially despotic. A representation of true republican virtues? Absolutely. Nonetheless, this request was made too late: the first parties had begun with the competition between Federalists…
ABCs of Binghamton 2022
Advice Column: Do you need help with your problems? Well you’re in luck because we won’t provide any practical solutions. Bitches: What you won’t be getting this semester. COVID: This is most definitely over and we definitely aren’t seeing an uprise in cases already. I sure love to not hear professors complain about it over and over and over and over and over. Dunkin’: Every afternoon, a wriggling, writhing mass of humanity manifests to block…