by Leftus Turnus It’s that time of year again, the time of year when we all remind ourselves of all those sad, abused tires. Typically, these reminders come about while watching TV, when those black and white commercials show tires being beaten, abused, and not properly maintained by their owners while some famous celebrity tries to guilt you out of your hard-earned money over a sad backing track. Man, I hate those commercials, like why…
Harvey Doesn’t real
By Gregory Gardenhose IV For the past 6 years, our democracy has been in peril by the forces of evil. Among these forces is misinformation spread by white supremacists and neo-N*zis. You are doing a good deed by exposing yourself to our unbiased and reputable news written by me, a certified expert in news and information. As you know, misinformation has run rampant not only across this college campus but all throughout the continental United…
Help! I’ve been kidnapped by the Binghamton Review!
By Madeline Perez I remember. It was a chilly autumn night when I was first attacked. Walking back from Binghamton University’s West Gym, I reeked of chlorine and resembled a drowned rat. I often wondered why the swim club decided to run practices until 11 PM. Back then, it was best not to question things. My flip-flops flip-flopped like the independent percussionists they were, repeatedly hitting the pavement like one would hit a disobedient wife…
Rising Gas Prices Are Actually a Good Thing
By Gatt Magliano Whether you yourself drive or you’ve simply heard non-stop complaining from those in your life who do, you most likely know by now that gas prices are skyrocketing. From hovering around $2 per gallon just a few years ago to $4.39 per gallon just a few days ago, many are disgruntled about having to fork over their life savings for just a few poots of gasoline. I’ve been affected myself, looking at…
We Need World War III, NOW!
By Mirder O. Crows I have something that I’ve been thinking about for a while now, and it desperately needs to be said: we don’t WANT a World War III. “Wanting” implies that it is probably unnecessary, and something that could be postponed until the time is right. No, we don’t “want” World War III; we absolutely NEED World War III! This has been the long-awaited sequel to human catastrophe that has been riling up…
The Jungle Grew Back: Robert Kagan and the War for Ukraine
By Arthur O’Sullivan What is the “Jungle” in Geopolitics? In the wake of Putin’s recent invasion of Ukraine, a popular meme circulated among Gen Z’ers that says, “I really wish I weren’t living through a major historical event right now!” While it shows that this generation can’t handle anything of greater consequence than a bowl of porridge (no doubt a trait inherited from millenials and baby boomers before them), it does lead to a fair…
The UCC and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, therapeutic practice
By Joanne Nguyen This is not a funny article. Pack up your clown nose and comically large shoes, because if you’re looking for tom-foolery, you won’t find it here. What I’m about to disclose to you is no laughing matter, but once you are intimately familiar with the inner workings of Binghamton University’s “mental health services,” everything can get morbidly funny very quickly. As I’m sure you know, at the beginning of each semester your…
Response to Pipe Dream Editorial Board
By Sean S. Harrigan In the past couple of weeks, I have reported a discrimination issue in my Sociology class that garnered national, and in some cases international, attention from multiple news outlets. Pipe Dream’s Editorial Board recently came out with an article titled, “Do as I say, not as I do” that is interesting, to say the least. They are purporting that the news on Professor Candela is “one-sided” since there were no quotes…
Worst Case Scenario: World War III?
By Julius Apostata If you had told me that war in Europe was happening three weeks ago, I would have shrugged my shoulders and scoffed. Why would we have war? Surely, we have moved past such barbaric instincts and would instead resort to diplomacy to ensure that geopolitical interests could be met in a reasonable and rational way. And yes, war does, unfortunately, still occur in the world, such as in Yemen, Syria, and elsewhere,…
No One Man Can Have All That Power
By Joe Badalamenti The US isn’t doing so well right now. In a time of increasing inflation, political violence, and looming prospects of a major war, it’s clear that we’re not in the best of times. This raises the question: how do we get back to the best of times. While there are many different approaches to this task, any feasible approach should require some form of action, but who will lead this action? Undoubtedly,…
Yet Another Brick Wall
By Dillon O’Toole Despite the fact that I have been playing video games for around three quarters of my life, I am not very good at them. Sure, I may not be terrible, but when you have put as much time into video games as I have, it’s a little embarrassing that I still can’t properly play a platformer without dying at the first jump way too many times. A perfect example of my incompetence…
Doom and Gloom Vibes
By Dillon O’Toole Have you ever found yourself listening to a song? Probably, right? I mean, listening to music is something that most people can relate to, unless, of course, you’re one of those strange people who doesn’t listen to music. Now, the real question is, have you ever found yourself listening to a song and thinking “man, I wish this song was played at a really slow tempo and repeated the same riff for…
Why You Should Read P.J. O’Rourke
By Arthur O’Sullivan A few days ago, the world learned that the renowned libertarian-conservative humorist P.J. O’Rourke died of lung cancer at age 74. If you are reading this, chances are high that you are a student who has only heard the name recently, if at all. His most famous work is from the 1990s, where he would lambast the politics of the day, famously quipping, “The Democrats are the party that says government will…
The Pipeline of Perversion
By Mister B Howdy losers, welcome to the most degenerate issue of the year: the “S*x issue.” While the other writers are content with talking about sex, or the Green M&M, or how how they got laid in the dining halls at 5AM, I, Mister B , am here to continue the great legacy of Binghamton Review by pointing out degeneracy in defense of the traditional values that made this country great. There are, of…
The Economics of… Sex?
By Siddharth Gundapaneni Public perception of varying sexual behaviors has rapidly changed during the last century. Premarital sex no longer faces the societal stigmas it once did, pornography is more acceptable than ever, and support for prostitution is also reaching highs. Why are these changes occurring? Has society gone sex-crazed? Have people begun to just care less about what others do in the bedroom? While some of these propositions may be true, they are hardly…