By Arthur O’Sullivan Oh, great! I write a massive text-wall about stupid terms in politics and then I use a word like “Shibboleth.” For clarification, this word was used in the Old Testament as a test of identification: if you pronounced it right, you were spared; if wrong, you were killed as an impostor. The word itself was no secret, and everyone knew its meaning, but only one group of people used it, and its…
Musical Theatre’s Power of Biblical Proportions
By Emily Portalatin Sorry, everyone. I don’t have time to write this article, I have rehearsal… is what I would say if I were a theatre kid! Got ya!!!!!!!! Okay, I am a musical fan, but we’ve all heard harsh rumors about the stereotypical “theatre kid”: a fan who publicly breaks into song, makes theatre their only trait, and expresses jealousy toward others in the theatre setting; a Rachel Berry type. I am no stranger…
Musings of a Schmirnoff Drinking Man
By El Lento This article will diverge from what one likely expects from Binghamton Review. Despite the facetious title, what follows is not satirical and is instead a serious attempt at analysis of the incidents in February wherein multiple unidentified objects (I will attempt to avoid the nomenclature “UFO” due to its association with aliens) were shot down. I acknowledge that although I lack definitive evidence of what really happened, I believe the standing narrative…
“AI and its Effects on the Music Industry”
By Daniel Guido AI continues to amaze the internet and the world with its capacity for extraordinary feats. It has now proven itself capable of creating music on par with that of accomplished singers and songwriters. The impacts this will have on the music industry will prove to be of great importance in the near future. Over the past few months, AI programs have been used to replicate the voices of real human beings, especially…
The Cruel Implications of Toy Story 4
By Madeline Perez I have never hidden my disdain for the fourth Toy Story movie. Across previous articles and social interactions—even the passing thought of TS4 sends me into a rabid hysteria, wide-eyed and foaming, in which I tear apart the nearest small child or bunny rabbit. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone, as I’ve been told others have also criticized the movie—but in my ongoing effort to stay pure and original, I have…
The S.A. Election Autopsy
By Logan Blakeslee Running for a position on the S.A. E-Board can sometimes feel like Don Quixote charging at a windmill. Without the necessary social capital, it’s a task that is very easy to miscomprehend, and failure is nothing short of spectacular. I begin this article with the concession that I was not the victor in either the 2021-2022 or 2023-2024 S.A. presidential elections, and the temporary sting of defeat has given way to reflection…
Magic Words
By Arthur O’Sullivan Gee golly, thinking sure is hard! There’s just too much to deal with: finding the right words, balancing reason and critique, entertaining the possibility that I could be wrong… my room-temperature IQ just can’t handle it! (I can’t even think about what I had for breakfast.) You know what isn’t hard, though? Masturbation. It’s so simple, a monkey could do it! All you need to do is get in the mood, make…
The Persona Article
By Dillon O’Toole Hey everyone, it sure has been a while since I last wrote something (at least if you ignore the advice column). In that time, many ideas have come and gone, but, in the end, I was unable to transfer any of them into concrete ideas. That is, until today. Unlike a lot of the people I know, I never had any interest in either anime or JRPGs (Japanese Role-Playing Games). I watched…
My Asian American Mom
By Midas Leung Recently in my Asian American class, I was tasked with doing an interview with my mother which showed me how much I already understood my mother. However, she did clarify a couple of misconceptions regarding her stories. One of my ancestors, for instance, was the child of a prostitute who I found out was Scottish. The funny thing is that the prostitute was Scottish and my ancestor was the Chinaman (what a…
To Kill a Community
By Dillon O’Toole Isn’t the modern world fantastic? All of the technology available today has brought everyone the ability to be closer to so many more people. Now, even if you have a niche hobby or interest, you can always find like minded others, whereas in the past you may have been lucky if you knew one person who shared that interest. Looking at me, I knew of almost no one outside of my family…
A Proposal for Direct Democracy
By Siddharth Gundapaneni In grade school we were taught that democracy is a system whereby constituents of a nation are able to voice their opinions, and have a say in their nation’s affairs. This idea first began with a direct democracy. We were then taught that the United States, and many other developed nations, use a representative democracy because most adults do not have time to vote on every policy everyday. Thus, we elect people…
The Ultimate Fictional Bear Ranking
By Madeline Perez We live in an age of infinite possibilities. Often, those possibilities involve the creation of a fictional world, and in this world, a bear. It can prove impossible to create rankings of a genre so wide and encompassing (the fictional bear genre), but in my resolve to lasso the most daunting of challenges, I have since birthed from my thought canal a list. A list to destroy all other lists. A list…
The Shopping Lobe
By Baddieline So–I was going about my day, browsing the interwebs, when I stumbled upon this really scientific article published by a website that also hosts quizzes like ‘Which Guy From the Office Would Find You Attractive Based on Your Favorite Fruit?’ (Michael Scott!! XD). The article said some really smart things about dopamine and how playing Minecraft is basically just like doing cocaine!!! Or even having sex, which I can’t confirm or deny since…
It’s-a Me! A Gamer’s Unwanted Opinion!
By Emily Portalatin Ah yes, April… not the most notable month of the year, but a fun month nonetheless with its fair share of holidays. There’s April Fool’s Day, but I personally refuse to be confined to one measly day of silliness. Who needs April Fools when I can shamelessly wear a metaphorical clown suit that jingles with each step every day of my life? And apparently April 4th is National Hug a Newsperson Day?…
’87: The Secret History of Binghamton Review
By Arthur O’Sullivan (To the tune of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah) I heard there was a secret room Where Mangle was, in FNAF Two But you don’t really care for Foxies, do you? It goes like this, the vent, the hiss, Without the mask, he’s really pissed. It’s Mangle, and he bites in ’87. ’87. ’87. ’87. ‘eighty se-e-e-e-ven. Any zoomer born after 2002 can’t game. All they know is Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, charge they doors,…