by Suomynona Conservatives of the modern era tend to consistently use terrible talking points to critique Islam. They try to rebut liberals with claims such as “Islam oppresses women” and “we have nothing to learn from Islam.” Let’s examine these claims and see where we can advance our civilization in order to be as enlightened as the Middle East, while at the same time critiquing the crucial points against Islam. Gay provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos tirelessly…
Ten Trendy Costumes to Rock This Halloween
By Our Staff 1. Colin Kaepernick This costume is right for the times! With Colin all over the news, now is the time to show your support for the black community. What better way to do it then to dress as Kappy himself? All you’ll need is a Kaepernick jersey, some cleats, an afro wig, and, arguably the most important part of the costume, dark-colored foundation! Wow the crowd with this daring and social…
ABCs of Binghamton
Anthropology: For people that really REALLY want a hard time looking for a career. Bartle: Great place to pick up printing, Krispy Kreme donuts, and a panic attack. Cramps: They come for free with your meal plan! Downtown: Keep it classy by stumbling from corner to corner while your friends call a cab. For extra pizazz, throw up on the sidewalk. Einstein’s: If you want to eat their bagels at a normal breakfast time, it…
Real Fake News
by Thomas Casey The boogeyman of phony news reporting is haunting America. This pervasive, nationwide, deeply ingrained existential threat began, according to Democrats, on Wednesday, November 9th, 2016. Liberals everywhere are crying foul that some made up news stories toppled their otherwise unblemished presidential candidate. Of course, nobody’s got any specific headlines or direct ties to voting outcomes, but that doesn’t matter because any published proof disproving the theory would just be fake news anyway.…
Presidential Profiles
by David Keptsi Its election time and what a shit show we’re all in for. If you haven’t made up your mind about who you’re voting for in the general election: Good. Because it’s ridiculous that these are our only choices. For those who haven’t made up their minds and those who already have, the following are the profiles of the top 5 candidates in the running to fuck up and/or fix our country. In…
The Government is Evil and Racist and It Should Control the Economy
by Comrade Casey, Commissar of the Binghamton College Communists Every day, I check my iPhone and read about another racist, disgusting atrocity committed by the government. Corrupt cops target disadvantaged groups with reckless abandon. Our hapless, useless mayors and legislators stand idly by, catering to special interests instead of their constituents. Of course, these horrible police and politicians are the same people who should have complete control over the economy. As Commissar of Binghamton College…
ABC’s of Hillary Clinton Scandals
by Aditi Roy A: Arms Deals Twenty countries that donated to the Clinton Foundation received $165 billion in commercial arms sales that were approved by Hillary Clinton’s State Department when she was Secretary of State. These deals increased the military strength of countries like Algeria, Kuwait, UAE, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and Oman, all of which have committed heinous human rights violations. Source: http://www.ibtimes.com/clinton-foundation-donors-got-weapons-deals-hillary-clintons-state-department-1934187 B: Benghazi What difference does it make that Hillary Clinton received hundreds of emails…
Fact Checking the Fact Checkers
By David Keptsi After the mess that was the first presidential debate, many people were driven to fact checking websites to try to make sense of the B.S. coming out of both candidates mouths. Unfortunately the same websites/publications that have a supposed duty to objectively fact check the debate seem to have been either purchased by foreign interests or are outright trying to push an agenda with the selectiveness of their fact checking. As…
Deer Diplomacy
By Billy Schneider Many of you may remember that the Binghamton Review published an article last semester regarding the precarious situation facing the deer in our nature preserve. At the time many readers were completely un-aware of this problem, and the issue preceded a surge of student interest in helping to protect the preserve. Perhaps blinded by complex ecology, god complexes, good intentions, or classic peer pressure, numerous students agreed en masse that systematic killing…
Disarm the Police: A Plea for Common Sense Gun Reform
By Sean Glendon It seems that every day a new headline hits the news – a police officer has killed a civilian, who, more often than not, was a minority. As I scrolled through my Facebook feed I was inspired by everybody making very long-winded posts to do something, so I’m writing this article which will surely bring significant change and reform. My first proposed solution to this epidemic was that police should be required…
B.S Doesn’t Go Far Enough
By Joseph GunderStalin We know about unequal opportunity. We know that inflation isn’t high enough. We know about the failure of the rich man to give half of his assets to the poor man standing next to him to equalize their footing. We know that the sameness of the population rests on the method of taking away from those evil capitalists of the top one tenth of the one tenth of the one tenth of…
ABCs of the Left
By The Binghamton Review Staff A – Anthropology major: What degree could be more useful than anthropology? Accounting, Biology, Business, Chemistry, Economics, Engineering, Management, Mathematics, Neuroscience, Physics, Psychology. B – Black Lives Matter: We’ll be protesting Pipe Dream on Tuesday and we demand a full apology for something vaguely racist. C – Cultural Appropriation: Eminem must be shot. D – Debt forgiveness: Forgive it all, no matter how much it ruins the world economy. E…
My Awkward Sodexual Encounters: Go Tell it On the Mountainview
By Patrick McAuliffe Jr. After a brief respite (which was a tad bit too long and boring, if you ask me), Binghamton Review is back and here to offer you a glimpse inside a student’s Sodexual encounters. This time, I went where the air is a bit thinner for some Mile-High Dining. (The name probably won’t catch on, but that’s fine.) There are two major low points that I find with such a lofty establishment as Appalachian…
Shit BuzzFeed Says – Act II: A Zuckerbergian Tragedy
By Howard Hecht Try as I may to escape the clutches of BuzzFeed’s tyrannical grasp on first world media, I, unfortunately, cannot. As – to put it in terms BuzzFeed would understand – “a 90s kid xD,” I am within an age range of people who are likely to possess a Facebook account, and on occasion I do in fact scroll through my newsfeed. I have gone out of my way to block as many…
I’m Oblivious and I Support This Message
By Thomas Casey ‘You Can’t Stump the Trump Volume 4’ won’t reach the campaign advertising Hall of Fame. Daisy, 3 O’clock Call, and Willie Horton will never have the seven minute YouTube video amongst their ranks. Yet, the absurd, thinly veiled propaganda piece sets an interesting precedent for the future of offbeat Internet advertising. ‘Can’t Stump’ reached thousands of eyeballs, including those of its subject matter. Mr. Trump saw enough promise to tweet out the…